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Super shit

February 2007

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I'm a pretty awesome guy, and part of that awesomeness requires that my entries are all friends-only.  Sorry about that.  If you'd like to get on the incredibly selective list, submit your application, which should (read: doesn't necessarily have to, but it'd be nice if it did) include a fairy tale that you made up, your three favorite songs, how I know you (if I do.  If I don't then just let me know how awesome you are), and what you'd do if you had your own island that you could make up the laws on.


a long time ago in a far away land, there was a magical turtle princess named Pretentia. she was the most magical of all the magical turtle princesses that slowly roamed the land.

One day, Pretentia was hitting up her favorite magical turle music store, where she only bought the most obscure of classical-electronica-funk-pop-jazz, when she noticed this totally radical hipsturtle prince named Doug.

They locked eyes from across the store, and blushed in a turtle-esque fashion. Pretentia thought to herself "hey, i am NO kind of shy turle, so i'm going to march on over there and say hello."

so she began to make her way over. After about 10 or 15 minutes, she made it all the way to the other side of the store, and Doug smiled the handsomest turtle smile Pretentia had ever seen. Pretentia smiled back, and introduced herself.

"Hello. I'm Pretentia. What's you're name?"
"I'm Doug...I...I like your um...shoes. they look quite...um...magical, I must say."

Pretentia laughed because all clothing in that far away land (which i just now decided is called Turtlopia) is magical. especially shoes.

"Wanna switch shoes? I bet it would be fun!" said Pretentia, who noticed they had the same shoe size and was consiquently turned on.

"Ok!" Doug replied, trying to conceal his mega-huge turtle wood.

They switched shoes (all four!) and then something MAGICAL happened. They both started floating in mid air!!

"Oh wowie!!! we are turles and we are floating together!!! we must be soul mates!!" Doug exclaimed.

and with that, they floated away together out of the store and towards the sunset.

They had many magical turtle adventures after that, but none quite compared to switching shoes and then floating all over the place, because that was totally neat.

Gaelle: Parkway
Regina Spektor: Flowers
Erykah Badu: Call Tyrone

we met in graphic design, silly!!!

if i had my own island, i would make everyone make-out with everyone else on the island, besides blood relatives. also, everyone would have to eat eggs on toast at least 4 times a week, and LOST would have to be on tv every wednesday without breaks and without a single repeat.
i would make everyone get plastic surgery to look like joe bane to that i would be surrounded by joes that were totally making out with eachother a lot.

that's probably the creepiest thing i've ever said.